It's been over a month since I last posted.
Sometimes I am just not sure how to express my internal dialogue.
There has been a battle raging in my belly.
I am having issues with scripture and the church and tradition and how do I know that I am right and that the only way to God is through Jesus. This is scary for me. It is just so complicated.
I was in a class several weeks where we were discussing religion and in trying to explain my beliefs, my professor thought I was agnostic. I said no, but I couldn't make myself say in front of the whole class that Jesus is the only way to heaven and that if you don't believe in Him you are going to hell. The arrogance of that comment overwhelmed me as I looked at the faces of these people, my peers, who believe just as strongly in something else. They would have scoffed and labeled my a holy-roller and that would have been the end.
What could I have said? What should I have said?
I hear other's intrepretations of scripture and my perversion alarm rings and I puff out my chest and claim that 'No, that is not correct. I know what that verse really means'. I don't want to feel like this. Arrogance is not evidence of God's love.
I want to find confidence without pomposity.
What is my problem? Why can't I just get it and go on with life?