Friday, November 24, 2006

Happy Day AFTER Thanksgiving.

I think this is the real holiday. No more cooking and worrying that everything might be finished at the same more walking gently with the china so it doesn't fall on to the tile more holiday politeness... Today is just being.

and hanging out.

This is the part of the holiday I am most thankful for. And I hope you enjoy this day too.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

why do we have to pee?

so i'm working on getting over a very nasty bladder infection this week.


i would rather have a migraine.
i would rather have a cold.
i would rather have a sinus infection.
i would rather have a 24 hour bug...

since monday i have probably drank 7 or 8 gallons of water. i am sloshing as i walk.

this sucks.

Saturday, September 23, 2006


i just cleaned out my office. my first office ever.

i am crying and smiling.

change is always something that has come rather easily to me. not that i'm really good at it or anything, just used to it. i'm fairly adaptable.

this is the most emotional change i've ever made.

giving up the space that i have carved out over the past 2 years is really painful. i'm turning over my life to someone else along with my students, my community, my responsibilities.

even though i know other people have done this before and survived, right now i feel like no one understands. i feel depressed about this- despite the hope and knowledge i have in jesus that there are more things for me.

i have loved this place like no other.

there are so mnay fruits of my work that i will never see. so many people that i will miss.

last weekend i worked on staff for a Happening retreat in the episcopal diocese of florida (in north fl). i went, anticipating that when i got back i would be prepared to write a scathing report on the retreat- mainly based on the Happenings i attended in high school in PGH. i didn't talk much during the weekend- first of all i didn't know that many people, and second of all i wanted to keep my cynical attitude to myself until i had hard proof for my opinions.

you might wonder why in the world was i there if i felt like this. i went because the rector of the weekend was a girl named karis who was in my small group when she was in 6th grade and i was an intern at her church. we've kept in touch off and on over the last 6 years and she asked me to go. so i went for karis- to love her and support her.

i kept my opinions in my own head for the most part. until the closing eucharist.

karis gave her rector's address and i realized what an ass i was being.

she said, talking about her first Happening experience and life situations at the time, "i realized that my desire for people to love me was really my need to have jesus love me through other people- and that 's what Happening did for me."

if that's the only thing these students get out of the weekend,
it's enough.

i thank my jesus for loving the people of st. philip's through me, for giving me that blessing and i pray the same for all of us.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

floating hot pink feathers

the title of this post pay homage to a post by my dear friend holly. she posted about a day at the beach with her beautiful daughter. floating feathers seems like time slows.

time has just slowed down majorly for grant and i.

on our way home from clemson, sc on sunday we realized that we had not been alone in three weeks.

first was the wedding of my uncle in ohio. so much fun! we all dressed up as doughboys at the reception. then we were in ky with my family hanging out. a day trip to wv to see my new gorgeous cousin, aidan and of course his big brother, david.

then back to miami with my youngest sister in tow for a week complete with vacation bible school and a middle school lock-in. after that the three of us re-packed our bags and headed for tybee island, ga. where we dropped stevie off and spent one night before heading to clemson.

then a week in clemson because grant's best friend, ken, was getting married to this totally amazing woman named nell. we did some pre-wedding white water rafting and luncheons and dinners and errands.

they tied the knot on saturday and we drove back to miami on sunday in a record 11.5 hours.


yesterday i just didn't know what to do with myself.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Re:encountering Rizpah

I just read over some of my past posts and I remembered Rizpah. She is a woman from the Old Testament with incredible passion and patience. At the end of my post I asked God to grant me patience like Rizpah.

I still ask for that, but now for different reasons.

At the time I was frustrated about living situations and going to school and working and just lots of craziness in my life.

The craziness has recently died down though. I graduated from college a couple of weeks ago and now am just working part-time - at least, as part-time as ministry can be.

I love my job and the love the people I work with and hang out with here.

But I don't love the way I do my job anymore.

I have been having lots of frustrations for a long time but have not had the time or energy to really think about it, much less actually do anything about it. But now I'm thinking. Particularly in light of my friend, Dixon's, recent post on a new youth ministry book.

My mind wants a formula.

But I know there isn't one.

I only have a few months left here at St. P's. That is not enough to really change things. (Is it?) I'm losing passion. I don't want to do this anymore. This is not to say that I don't want to be a part of these student's lives- just that I don't want to be this seperate arm of the church (an arm often kept at a distance from the rest of the body) This way of doing things is not healthy for anyone.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


God is good.
repeat: God is good.

Jesus died and rose again.
repeat: Jesus died and rose again.

Jesus died for my sins, because God is merciful.
repeat: Jesus died for my sins, because God is merciful.

Where you lead me Lord, I will go.
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.

I am not ashamed.
I am not ashamed.
I am not ashamed.

God is good.
God is good.

Friday, March 03, 2006

good encouragement

i recently found a calendar that i used to have on my desk. i hadn't seen it in almost 2 years. i'm not sure where i got it. it is a quote calendar that can be used year after year. the quotes are by Mother Theresa.

recently i have felt overwhelmed at work. last weekend God moved in a very intense way. this is what i've been praying for. abut then when it happened and now all of these students are looking to me to help them process and realize that YES! God is real. this week i had been feeling like there was something i had to, some scene i had to create. thank God for good friends. several people have helped me stop. and then i find this calendar and flip it open to today's reading.

The work we do is only a means and not an end in itself. No matter how beautiful the work may be, it is still just a simple means. After all, what matters is to belong to Jesus. The work we do is our love for Christ transformed into deeds.

Praise the Lord. No matter what I do, I still belong to him.

Friday, February 03, 2006

take me down to the paradise city...

i hate that i neglect this blog so often. poor little blog.

i love my job. i seriously just spent 20 minutes duct-taping 24 rolls of toilet paper.

STEELERS, WAHOO!!! Enough said. If you want to hear a great song look at this- Emily's MySpace

I had my first MRI last weekend. At the beginning of November I was running around with a bunch of 4th and 5th graders and I twisted my ankle. It just felt like how sometimes when you are just walking you twist your ankle and it smarts for a few seconds but you just shake it out and keep going. Well I shook it out, but the pain stayed. It continued swelling and hurting for the next month. I finally saw doctor in December- hairline fracture and bad sprain. I had an aircast for a few weeks (no crutches, thank God). But still it swells and gives me pain.

Then the MRI. Looks like I have some pretty bad damage to my tendons around my inner ankle bone on my right foot. I have to see a specialist- who my doctor said will probably immobalize it for a while... that means I might be hobbling on crutches during our spring retreat. oh crap. at least maybe it will heal so I can stop walking like a rapper.

Speaking of the retreat- time is closing in... I'm starting to be a bit stressed. So much to do... especially b/c of frustrations between the church and school here. please pray that relationships would stay intact. and that I can hold my tongue as needed.

I am going to be a college graduate in 12 weeks. Wow.