static

my mind is in a weird state of staticiness today. i have been at work since about 9:30 but i really can't say anything i've actually accomplished. on monday night i had a paper due and a final exam. then on tuesday morning i had 3 papers due. i didn't sleep for four days. and even though i did get some good sleep last night i am still not functioning properly.

it also doesn't help that my office (well my corner in eric's office) is all packed up just waiting for my new office furniture to get here. what should i be doing? oh, about a million things, but who's counting.

i haven't seen eric sitting down to work today either. we are both just wandering around the campus, back and forth between offices thinking about what kind of pictures to hang in the bathroom and how to arrange our new offices.

we are pretty sure that we are both the same meyers-briggs. interesting. that's probably why we both drive everyone else crazy. when people look at our office in disgust he just tells them that to us it's organized.

i hate feeling anxious all the time. i would say that i feel anxious about 40% of the time. and i can't figure out why. i can't make it go away. mylanta is my best friend.

i think it would really help if we didn't live so far away from the rest of our lives.

and i want to have a baby.

will i ever graduate?

Radio

There's a 'christian' radio station here in Miami that has this slogan, "Because you care what your kids are listening to"

Wow.

Are you kidding me?

As if parents who are not christians don't care?

As if all 'secular' music is satanic?

Oh my.

I hate those stupid distinctions. I listen to all the stations with music I like- christian, pop, hard core rock, 80's, classical- whatever.

I wish someone would just create a national radio station that just plays music that is good and pleasing to God. It doesn't have to be 'praise' music. It doesn't even have to say Jesus. Just good stuff.

Thought for the day:
So called 'secular' stations have the grace to play songs from christian bands. But you will never hear a 'secular' song played on a 'christian' station... well unless they are bashing it.

Warning!: Boob Post

I found that if I squish my boobs into a smaller sports bra that moves them more to the middle of my body I look skinnier.

I think I might invest in a few more.

Why is it that I have lost 10 pounds but not an ounce has come off my boobs?

As soon as I'm done having kids they are gone. I can't wait.

BOLO

Be On the Look Out

Mr. Ice Blue Rasberry Lemonade Kool-Aid Man has left my grocer's shelves.

If you find him please email me immediately so we may set up the exchange.

Reward: 6 Dozen Eggs

I miss him.

Find him.

Thesis

I am going to write a thesis for the honors college over the next few months.

any ideas? perhaps something you have always wanted to research but don't have time?

please post.

thank you.

thank you very much.

WildLIFE

on friday night i am having a lock-in for my WildLIFE group- 4th and 5th graders.

normally we only hang out once a month for a couple of hours on a sunday afternoon- we usually have about 10-15 kids.

friday night- there is a strong possibility we will have 40.

holy crap.

for real.

i think i might crap myself.

praise God that He is good.

and faithful.

and omniprescent.

because i am not.

grant is not.

pray that someone reliable and jesus-loving would answer our ad for volunteers.

we need more.

would you like to come?

Born into Brothels

You should see this movie if:

[you have ever felt ungrateful for anything in your life]

[you love beautiful photography]

[you love children]

[you think the US is a horrible place to live]

[you have multiple family albums to peruse at your will]

[you have a passport]

[you need a break from your self-centered world]

[you enjoy quality films]

[you are looking for something new to be passionate about]

[you are a living, breathing human being]

Never Even Left

i just got back to my office. this morning i helped out at a bake sale at my previous place of appointment. grant still works there but i have been gone since last august.

it seriously took most people at least 15 minutes to realize that i no longer worked there.

zombies.

W ait In G

I'm sitting here waiting for a 7pm meeting. being as i live an hour or more away from work it just doesn't make sense to go all the way home after my 2pm class only to return an hour-ish later. So i am waiting. I have decided that i am not very good at waiting. as i wait my mind
tends to
wander around
aimlessly.
i always plan
to get lots o f thIng s
done.
but for some
reason it seems like a
better idea to
read articles on
youthspecialties.com
or check on my
favorite
american idol
contestants.
i could be;
planning for wildlife on sunday

planning for superheroes in 2 weeks
reading 'ruth hall' for class

reading 'big money' for another class

reading 'lousianna power and light' for fun
reading 'the lie that tells a truth' for fun

talking to beth or brynn or ana, (whatever her name is) my newest character who has just found out she has breast cancer and isn't sure how or when to tell her husband and i'm still not completely sure why he wasn't with her when she found out

but no, i'm just sitting
here.

wasting time.

and loving it.

pumice

On Saturday Grant and I attended Youth Specialties 'The Core' conference. For me it was a great reminder of why I do what I do and that I am on the right track and that it's okay that my students don't always listen or wear pants with juicy across the bum.

For Grant, the conference was like a revelation into the lives of 6th grade boys. Apparently my suggestions of talking and praying for eachother have just not been going as well in his male small group as they have with my girls.

Me: I am so sorry that I just haven't been able to give you some good advice on how to connect with middle school guys.

Grant: That's okay honey. It's because you know what a pumice stone is for.

ministry headache

what is my job? the way i see it: i want to invite young people to know christ. i want them to yearn for him. to love him more than anything else. but i can't make them. there is nothing i can do personally to make that happen and it pisses me off.

i get tired of playing jello games and toilet tag. i feel very unsettled. i want God to blow them away. they giggle and poke eachother when we pray.

am i doing enough?

am i doing too much?

do i talk about God enough?

do we read the Bible enough?

do we pray enough?

should i try harder with music worship?

should i start a second group for those who want to be more intense?

do i spend enough personal time with God?

am i normal?

sardines

can i tell you how much i love my job? no? too bad. i'm going to anyway. because this is my blog. not yours. i win. - can you tell i've been teaching elementary classes today?

yep, that's what i've been doing. filling in for eric teaching sacred studies to 4th, 5th and 6th grade today. it is so fun. the saint for today is aelred - the patron saint of friendship. so i gave each of them a piece of paper with their name on it and then they had to pass them around and everyone had to write something nice about everyone else. we talked about how there are friends that we love and that even people who are not our friends are loved AND blessed by God so we should love them too. it was good. and they did a good job coming up with good things for eachother. i was impressed. it has been a good day so far.

we don't have SFC this friday. (superheroes for christ) and i find myself bummed. sure i'm very excited to just spend time with my husband but i have so much fun with those guys. they are so hilarious. sometimes i wonder if i was that funny when i was that age.

grant and i are really struggling about being in miami. some days it is just so hard to be here. other days i'm too tired to even think about it. i love my job. i love my husband. i love school- but i wish i was taking classes just for fun instead of having to worry if they count or not and all that crap.

i finally admitted that i wouldn't mind moving back to tallahassee when our three years are up. i don't know why that was so hard for me to admit. probably because i complained so much while i was there. hindsight = 20/20. but we've also been pushing around the idea of grant going federal. all we know is that God wants us here right now so here we are... but we are willing, God, we are willing.

Swedanish

sometimes i am an idiot. i really try hard too.

working in miami causes me to constantly come across people who do not speak english. spanish only please. this often happens with the grandparents of my youth group students. so when the kids grandparents come to drop them off or pick them up i try my hardest to speak spanish with them- especially if they try to fumble through some english for me.

so. last friday one girls grandma came to drop her off. she was speaking in stilted english while trying to figure out what time to pick her grandaughter up. so i tell her the time in spanish and she stares at me weird. i'm thinking 'my spanish is not great but it's not that bad either' and finally we figure out 8:30.

later the girl tells everyone her grandmother is visiting from Sweden.

ba da da.

oh my.

naps

naps are so fantastic. i took one today. 2 hours. i have been so tired recently. i realized that last week i worked 28 hours. but i get paid for 20. and i'm taking 5 classes this semester. it is a good thing that i love my job.

okay. back to cooking dinner.

baby fever

some friends of ours became parents for the first time on saturday. katherine lindsay was born on saturday, november 6 at 1:30. 6lbs11oz 20inches- and incredibly adorable! grant and i went to see them in the hospital on sunday. she was so precious i just wanted to cuddle her all day. grant didn't even want to put her down. what is it about the sight of a grown man holding a tiny newborn that is so beautiful? he was so good with her. he is going to be a great father one day.

we actually had a HUGE discussion about kids this weekend. sometimes i feel like i am so ready. i look on adoption websites all the time checking out the policies and looking at the kids ready for adoption. most organizations require that both adopting parents be at least 25 and if you want to adopt from china (which i do) you both must be between 30 and 52 and your ages added cannot go over 104. i know that we will know when God calls us to follow that path, i just wish my maternal instincts weren't shouting so loud.

defensive tactics

grant and i went to bed not talking to eachother last night. it was so stupid too. we had been joking around all night practicing defensive tactics on eachother as we often love to do. and then suddenly the trash talk got too serious and i told him to shut up and then he told me i had just bought myself a whole night of silence. and that was the end. we brushed our teeth and went to sleep. at least tried. i can never sleep if i can't at least touch him. this morning we both stumbled blindly into the bathroom at the same time, saw eachother in the mirror and started laughing. we are such idiots. sometimes the frustration of living here really gets to us and we take it out on each other.
it's sad because i kind of like it here. i have a job that i love. a job that changes as much as i do and that has so much room to grow. i'm finishing school. not that i love school but i love being challenged. it makes me feel smart, which makes me feel good. it isn't cold here. we live 10 minutes from the beach.
but grant really doesn't like it at all. the traffic sucks. there are so many people that it's hard to be alone, but we tend to constantly feel lonely because we don't have many friends. it is hot as a griddle every single day. it rains so randomly all the time. our rent is twice as much as in tallahassee. groceries cost more. both of our families live far away. the public schools are not so good so raising kids here is not an option.
so what do we do? we have to be here almost 2 more years. i am definitely in favor of optimism.

traffic woes

i am so over traffic. driving an hour to an hour and a half each way is not my idea of a pleasurable morning or evening. grant and i figured out last night that if we lived in the same neighborhood as where we work we would be able to spend over a week and a half more together in teh course of a year. craziness. if you are reading this and you have an idea of how i can keep myself entertained and sane in my car please post.
thank you. thank you very much.

chopstick

so in a moment of creative genius this weekend the name for our new car came to us. Chopstick. the perfect name for our little japanese baby.

Newness

so grant and i bought a new car last night. i was on my way to school yesterday and callie the cavie just died in an intersection. i eventually got her started again but by then grant was done with me driving this unreliable in the middle of miami so now we are the proud new parents of a honda civic ls. .. very nice machine. i'm pretty sure it's a girl but i'm still waiting for a bit more personality to show...then we will decide on a name. it was an awesome blessing to get the payments down to something we can afford... just barely, but we can. we haven't been saving as much money as we thought we would by now but we see that God is totally giving us just what we need and no more... as soon as we save some up we get stuck with an unexpected bill or something... reminds us of manna in the dessert. don't save up more than you need or it will just rot. yeah, definitely rotting here.

i got a b+ on my harry potter paper... not bad but not what i was going for obviously. gives me some room to improve i guess.

holy crap. my sister is going to be 18 in like 13 days. i can't handle it. i can't even imagine what it will be like to be a parent and watching my kids grow up... now when stevie turns 18 i probably will freak out.

my aunt misti had a baby last night! at 5:08 PM little (7.1 lbs., 21inches) David William Presley made his first appearance to the world. they are both doing fine and my family is ecstatic!

i forgot globe and gob and glob and robe

so i drive an hour or an hour and a half to and from work every day. i'm either a freak or i love my job. thankfully it is the latter, although i don't completely rule out freak.

i have 3 papers due for school this week. one on harry potter- so fun... one on fried green tomatoes- so fun... and one on henry VI- gag me with a spoon til christmas. who am i that i thought i wanted to be an english major? freak...yeah. 21 books this semester. gotta love it. i cannot wait until i am finished with my undergrad.