SIMPLE means...

less clutter. less stuff. less dishes to do. less toys to pick up. less laundry. less cleaning. less stuff falling out of the closet when we open it. less commitment. less fighting about it all.

more time to play! more time to rest! more time to relax! more room in my brain! more time to create! deeper relationships! more time for love!

There are posts on this blog that I've been meaning to follow-up on... there is another blog I started writing for then slowed waaaayyy down because of time... I have a long list of craft projects and homeschool projects I'd love to do for myself and with my girls. I would love to open this etsy shop I keep talking about.

This is very scary for me. But it is time. Time to make goals. Time to get rid of stuff. Time to lessen my emotional attachments to objects- just writing that statement makes my eyes tear up..oh my..

But what I love most in life is spending time with my family. And all of this stuff is taking up way too much time.

Deep Breath.

Goal #1
Toy overhaul.
:: To be completed this week.

With or without Zola and Niva's help. I am going to get rid of toys. I will assess what they actually play with and take out the rest.

I feel like right now they have so much stuff in such a small space that they don't play with most of it because they can't get to it.

I keep a lot of things out of emotion. Because someone special bought it or I have a good memory of the object with one of my girls.

But it's too much.

Grant and I almost cry every night when we have to think about picking it all up. It sucks. Even if the girls help clean up earlier in the day it's never totally done.

At least their birthdays aren't until the Fall so we will have time to really think about what they will ask for...maybe bowling or movie gift cards...or camp tuition... or art class tuition... we just have to get a handle on this stuff.

Kids need things to play with. Things that belong to them and they can use at their own will. But I feel that when they have too many choices it becomes overwhelming and they don't choose..or they don't take care of their things because they know there is always something else.

So here's what I'm going to do...

Go through all the toys and put whatever I want to get rid of into plastic bags or boxes and store in Grant's truck (sorry babe..it's a POD again). Leave them there for a couple weeks and see if the girl's ask for any of it. See if they play with what's left any more.

Why does this feel so terrifying!?

Walking Billboards

I give up. It's time to admit it. Time for a confession.

I am a crazy mom.

I had so many ideas of what motherhood would look like before I actually became a mother. I knew I would care about the things my kids ate and the things they played with but I had no idea I would care this much. It's intense.

The fuel for my fire today:



I checked this book out from the library yesterday and I finished it yesterday.

Orenstein puts into writing so many of the things I've been saying for the last 2 years.

The thing that's been running through my mind this morning is her question of when does choice hop the fence into coercion?

Do my daughters really get to choose the kinds of things they want to play with? Because that's the culture we live in today, right? Have it your way, pick and choose, manufacturing products cheaply in order to have more stuff to choose from... but if that's true why do we have clearly marked aisles and shelves in stores that pimp (Orenstein's word, not mine) pink to my girls and ensconce Lego's and trucks in blue for the boys? Why is it so hard to find blue or yellow or green clothes for my daughter's baby dolls. And in that line of thought why is it so hard to find a male baby doll in the first place!

If I allow Zola to watch Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella or Snow White or The Little Mermaid, does she have a choice but to love them? That's all she sees on her eye level at Target at Walmart at Publix...so she has already internalized this idea that if you are a girl then these things are for you. So why would I perpetuate that idea by encouraging it at home?

Grant and I purposely try to avoid clothing that advertises the store from which it came. No white t-shirts boldly labeled, OLD NAVY or GAP across the front. Do we hate these stores? No. Do we shop there? Yes. But we pay them for their goods and we do not pay them so that we can be their walking billboards. I think they (and other businesses we use) do enough advertising without writing on us.

So why would we choose to do that with our children? Why would we bedeck them in Disney so that they can be walking advertisements?

This is a rant... I'm feeling feisty today so I'm bleching it all out right now. But I do know there is plenty of gray area. Murky waters... Zola has an E.T. shirt. She LOVES this shirt. I know it is essentially an ad for the movie. She wore it to school this week in fact. But the only people there who understood were her teachers. She also took her new E.T. stuffy to school and when she saw the other kids looking at it in confusion she stuffed it in her school bag rather than explain. Before the school year started her favorite color was blue or black... At home she still loves black but invariably if someone outside of our house asks her favorite color she says purple or pink. At age 3 my daughter my daughter already understands there are some things that are culturally innapropriate for her because she's a girl. (Seriously, WTF?)

I'm okay with her wearing E.T. though. It is a good story- about human (or humanized I guess since E.T. is an alien..) connection, about family taking care of each other. And it's not a brand. It's not a merchandise franchise just trying to get my kid to buy their things. In fact the t-shirt and the doll are it. There are no 3-year-old sized high heels or make-up kits with E.T.'s face on it.

A top Disney executive actualy told Orenstein that part of their Princess brand requirements is that when multiple princesses are pictured together they are not allowed to look at each other. Now that I know I'm watching and I'm with Orenstein, it's freaky! So why are we supposed to encourage them to role-play a princess who doesn't even have any friends? If one girl is Cinderella and one girl is Ariel, how do they play together? What are we doing to group-imagination? to group-play?

I don't believe that my girls came out of the womb demanding only the toys with pink sparkles. So why is that what I'm being told when I walk into a store, watch a toy commercial or check out Halloween costumes online?

I am not anti-princess. I am anti- the idea of princess being used as a brand to lure girls (read: any female consumer) into the land of over-consumption in the name of "I should" or "I have to in order to fit in."

I have some more thoughts on this book that will probably surface in the next few days...and not all of them are actually in her favor.

Etsy here I come!!! (#4.)

4. Open an Etsy shop - this feels overwhelming and stressful but I don’t think it should. I just need to make a few things, take pictures and post them. I get freaked because I make myself feel like this would have to be my entire life’s work outside of raising my kids of course.

I am getting ready. I am finally in a place where this seems doable and exciting. I've been honing my sewing skills recently and I've discovered that sewing feels natural and right to me- like an extension of myself. This is the only thing other than writing that has ever felt like that.

I used to make jewelry. I was obsessed and I amassed a TON of materials. I started a business in Miami and did shows and made jewelry for several bridal parties. It was fun and I loved the colors but I had a hard time coming up with anything original and I felt frustrated by that. My skills were good but not great and eventually I fell out of love with the craft.

Sewing is in my blood. My mom and her mom are amazing seamstresses...quilting, halloween costumes, wedding dress making kind of great at sewing. I'd love to be that great some day. The great part right now is that I'm actually enjoying the process of getting better...usually I want to be instantly great at something or I give it up. This is a good place to be.

Here are a couple recent projects taht will give a little sneak peak into what's upcoming in my soon to be opened etsy shop:

Piano Skirt made for sweet Sohpie's third birthday:


Cowoboy skirt made for spunky Emily's fourth birthday:

A View I'm Loving Today

Maybe I need to get some pink ones... I'm actually holding out until I can afford to special order a pair of yellow one star laceless chucks... my current pair is starting to crack around the edges and the holes are expanding so maybe sooner than later...

Check it out!

I just added a new page to contain my reading adventure through the Newbery Medal Winners. 10 down!!! Lots to go...

# 2. and # 29.

2. Bake something with yeast. I am terrified of yeast. There have been disastrous results in the past…

I did it!!! Thanks to my lovely friend Kristen from who I borrowed a bread maker I have successfully made pita bread twice! And Grant and I agreed that it was the most amazing pita bread we'd ever had... moist and slightly fluffy and mmmmm...yum.
Next step: try to make a loaf of whole wheat bread wihtout the bread maker.

29. Start a garden.

Thank goodness I only pledged to 'start' the garden. I suck at gardening. I have one half-brown aloe plant left. Zola and I started 6 types of plants inside- peas, tomatoes, cilantro, basil, daisies and sage. They all started to grow. Then they all started to die. I transplanted the remaining peas and cilantro outside hoping for a miracle but they died too. I watered them, I sunned them, I loved them. I don't know what else I could have done.

When my friend Kristen found out about the demise of our first garden, she gave us the aloe along with a growing tomato plant and a growing basil plant. We had a crazy storm a few nights ago that took care of them...knocked the pots off the porch and scattered the plants.

Do I dare try again?

# 11

- Read the newest Dexter book and any subsequent books that may come out this year.

DONE!




I read this in a couple hours one night after the girls went to bed. I find this series wildly entertaining but not something I would read over and over again. They read like good beach books to me.

One thing that I really love when I read Dexter books is that they are set in Miami and I'm familiar with all the roads and parks and buildings and agencies and culture he writes about. It feels homey and comfortable to me.

And Jeff Lindsay is a very funny writer... Dexter's inner monologue tends to make me laugh out loud. I appreciate his style.

The first book in the series is still my favorite..it's what got me hooked in the first place. But this was still worth the read.

RSV weaned my child; in other words, Why RSV Sucks.

Niva hasn't nursed in 3 days and 23 hours.

The last time she nursed was just after 9pm on Tuesday night. The next day she refused to nurse, refused to lay down, refused to eat and cried for 80 minutes straight. Double ear infections. Her first ailment treated by an antibiotic. But I wasn't surprised because the day before she was coughing and tired and started turning blue so we rushed her to the pediatrician where she was tested and a couple hours later diagnosed with RSV.

At least I understood why she didn't want to nurse. Her ears hurt. They gave her an antibiotic shot in the office on Wednesday and a prescription for numbing drops that we promptly filled and were instructed to use every 1-2 hours. Every time I put the drops in her ears she screamed for 10 minutes. We used them a few times and then stopped. FeverAll suppositories around the clock. And Niva still wouldn't nurse. She would ask by signing but then wouldn't when we got ready.

Back to the doctor on Thursday. Niva still not nursing or eating much. Ear infections are worse, one eardrum is perforated. My baby was so sad. Another antibiotic shot and a prescription for oral antibiotics to start the next day. And still FeverAll suppositories around the clock. Niva asked to nurse all day...pitifully shaking her hand in the sign...I'd get ready start to lay her down and she'd scream and cover her mouth and shake her head. We tried it with her sitting up. No go. More screaming.

Today she was back to her regular happy, mischievous self. But she still won't nurse. I had pumped the last few days and she was drinking it from a cup. But I when I tried to pump tonight the milk was gone. How did that happen so fast?

I know there are women out there who don't want to nurse, who say it's just not for them, who don't want a baby attached to them in that way. I am not one of those women. I've been nursing my babies, one then the other, for 3 years. When Zola weaned it was time. It was gradual, mutual and I could look forward to nursing the new baby I was about to birth. This time I just feel sad. Really, really, really sad.

It's not fair that my baby's last time nursing was painful for her. That she screams at the sight of my breast. That up until this week she was nursing 4-6 times a day and now she's not. It's not fair that this short time is over and Niva and I didn't get a choice.

I keep crying about it. My heart hurts. I didn't get to prepare. I didn't get to savor that last time. I feel minimised.

RSV sucks.

Embracing Hippy-dom

i just succumbed to the shaving process again- my underarms and legs, that is. it was so long and beautiful but my preconceived notion of societal pressure wore me down with this warm, shorts weather.

plus, grant was kind of freaked.

i with i could get to a place of confidence where i could embrace that granola part of myself and not feel self-conscious.

i was a very prissy little girl...just ask my mother or see the pictures. matchy-matchy, giant hair bows, sleeping in curlers for kindergarten, the whole shebang. but as i got older it became less important for me to match my underwear to my outerwear and more important for me to find comfort in my own skin.

then i started going to concerts and missions work and even later having my babies with help from midwives. see the connection?

at these concerts there was always the group of grungy hippies off to the side, girls in long handmade skirts, dreaded hair pushed bag with a bandanna, barefoot, tank tops with sewn on patches. in the mission field i found women going natural as a necessity and at times to fit in with their surrounding culture. and then i met a mid-wife in training when i was pregnant with zola who embodied total hippy-dom- brewing sun tea in ball jars, giving second hand books as birthday presents, long hair, gentle spirit, beautiful. and she had the most amazing arm pit hair i've ever seen. (please don't feel embarrassed for me that i just admitted that, i'm not! it was seriously amazing!) and it was so soft! she hugged me one day while wearing a sleeveless shirt and if felt like the softest blanket imaginable was on my arm.

and i must add in, linda. the first woman i knew, loved, respected and admired who was a wife and mom in a generally uptight community who didn't shave and was okay with it. gives me hope of being a hippy within streamlined culture.

i've been through the princess woman phase of delicate jewelry and pearl earrings. i've worn ann taylor business attire and panty hose for work. i own a very traditional little black dress. i did the college-age jeans and a t-shirt thing for a while. i've been down the traditional maternity-wear route. and the post-pregnancy i can only fit into sweatpants and my husband's t-shirts routine.

and while these were all personality off-shoots of who i was at the time, i think it's time to ring in my season of the hippy.

i'm ready to try it on and see how it fits me.

i'm so glad my ever-consistent husband loves me because i can't commit to anything (except for him and my daughters) and not in spite of it.

A recent photo of me i like to call: Emily of the Barn.



And a little shout out to Jen over at Raising a Green Family for posting first and giving me the confidence to confess all of this hairy mess. Glad we are friends.

29 Things to do Before I turn 29 next January

I didn't make a list last year. Niva was born in December and by January I was in the throes of post-partum depression and could barely imagine making it through the day much less a list of fun things to do in the next 12 months. But we did all make it through! And today I am smiling and excited about the next year!

Here are a few things I'll be working on:


1. Blog more- shouldn’t be hard since I only had 12 posts last year.

2. Bake something with yeast. I am terrified of yeast. There have been disastrous results in the past…

3. Explore home school curriculums

4. Open an Etsy shop - this feels overwhelming and stressful but I don’t think it should. I just need to make a few things, take pictures and post them. I get freaked because I make myself feel like this would have to be my entire life’s work outside of raising my kids of course.

5. Organize my thread

6. Go on a date with Grant

7. Make living room curtains- with the fabric I’ve had that’s just waiting for me to cut into it…peach and green and brown…

8. Knit something, anything…it could be a potholder…I just want to give it a try.

9. Make the girls matching Summer outfits.

10. Read at least half of the Newberry Award winners since 1922.

11. Read the newest Dexter book and any subsequent books that may come out this year.

12. Homeschool the girls- I guess this kind of a gimme since we are planning on doing this anyway…but I need something on this list that I know I will finish!

13. Buy more second-hand instead of new stuff.

14. Do the Financial Peace University stuff with Grant.

15. Buy less stuff. Don’t buy anything just because it’s a ‘good deal.’ No bargain bins, dollar shelves, clearance stickers. If you don’t LOVE it or NEED it, don’t buy it.

16. Have less clutter at home- see above.

17. Get a fun summer haircut. (sorry Grant.. The 2-year long-hair stint is almost over)

18. Figure how to make a buttonhole with my sewing machine.

19. Make something for my new nephew! (to be born in May!)

20. Frame and hang photos of the girls in our main living space.

21. Tie-Dye!

22. Teach Zola to sew

23. Paint Grandma Boyle’s chair a pinkish redish color

24. Cover Grandma Boyle’s chair in the green and blue fabric

25. Finish Stevie’s owl and mail it to her

26. Finish Rachel’s owl and mail it to her

27. Try a bottle of the Middle Sister wine that I found at Target but haven’t purchased.

28. Make a reusable calendar to teach Zola about months, days, etc.

29. Start a garden.

Niva - 13.5 Months

Well I missed writing on her birthday so let's play catch-up about Niva:

She is so different from Zola. I'm assuming that one day they will get tired of me saying that. But she really is. In general she's always slept easier. Where Zola is calm, cool and collected (even keel like her dad), Niva is more like me, emotional, tempermental and a bit unexpected.

She loves: dolls, puppies, curious george theme music, any music, dancing, playing instruments, eating- if there is something red on her plate she eats it first, she eats her vegies but prefers fruit, doesn't eat much meat but loves grains and of course she loves ice cream, doing anything zola is doing, zola, hugging zola, looking for zola when we say zola, holding zola's hand, cars and balls, socks on her hands, kissing, babies, kissing and loving on other kids, screeching (i've never heard a kid this loud), figuring things out, climbing, books, milk, nursing, eating paper and other things she finds laying around, bath time, being outside

She doesn't like: when Zola sits on her, when Zola steals her toys, when Zola can't understand what she's saying, teething

This is a girl who knows what she likes and she'll let you know if she's not happy. She's fiesty and a bit wild. Grant taught her how to come down the stairs by herself because she kept wanting to do it herself and she was falling and getting hurt. She's always trying to climb on the furniture or use chairs as stools to reach things on counters.

She started walking at 9 months and can now walk backwards, spin, stand on one leg and she's attempting to jump but we haven't seen her get any air yet.

Words she says in context: Mama, Mom, Mommy, Dada, Dad, Daddy, La or LaLa for Zola, Baby, Puppy, Banana, Ahp for Apple, Biaper for Diaper, Ow for Out, Uh-Oh, Buh for Bye-Bye

Words she signs in context: More, Nurse

I'm so excited it's my first birthday!

Wearing the owl skirt mom made for my birthday.

Ballerina Balance

Loving her first birthday cake! (blueberry muffins with cream cheese icing)

She LOVES babydolls

She lets us know when she's mad...

She loves to paint, color, draw

blowing kisses

The best shot I managed to get of them in their Christmas clothes.

bundled up for the cold in Pittsburgh after Christmas

Her first toenail paint! She picked blue and you can see that she got a little wiggly!

She loves to eat whole pieces of fruit by herself.




Dear Niva Girl... You are amazing. I love watching you try to figure things out every day. Like how to get down off that stool you just climbed up on. Or how to take off your shoes and socks. Or how to take off your diaper or shirt. Or how to put that diaper on the babydoll. Or how to get that object in that box.

You are fun to be around and you make me laugh every day. Your dancing has taken on some new moves recently and you throw your hip out to the side and freeze- it cracks me up!

You make the sweetest kissy face when you blow us kisses. And the way you lay your head under my chin just so when I rock you makes me feel warm.

I love that you are sleeping so well at night and that you love sharing a room with your sister.

I love how gentle you are with babies.

And how excited you get to see other kids your age.

And how you yell DADA every time you see him.

I love watching you mimic your sister and I pray every day that you two will remain close and love each other and protect each other and be peace to each other for the rest of your lives.

I love watching you grow up...even though each new step means the end of something else and that usually makes me cry. I try to give you as many hugs and kisses as you'll let me every day.

I love you.

Mama

Zola turns 3!!!!!

My firstborn turned three today! I'm so excited for her because I remember how fun it was to turn another year older when I was a kid... but it's bittersweet because it's going so fast! Where did my little baby go!?!
Here are some photos from our great day:

Rock and Roll Face

Checking For Rain

Sweet Smiley Girl

Curious George Birthday Dress

3 Years Old!

She's having a Curious George themed birthday party on Saturday. He's a current favorite around here. I found this piece of Curious George fabric in the remnant bin at Joann's a couple months ago and took a while figuring out what to make. I've made her jumpers in the past but they haven't turned out well. But I've been seeing a lot of tutorials on blogs about shirring so I gave it a try and I am so pleased with the result! She LOVED her dress and I'm hoping it's big enough for her to wear for a while.

Some things Zola likes right now:

Movies!: Wizard of Oz, FernGully, Madeleine, Matilda, Curious George, Parent Trap, Nemo, Alice in Wonderland

Music of all kinds. She loves to sing and makes up songs and inserts silly words into songs she knows. She knows most of the score from the Sound of Music but hasn't seen it yet. She also likes to play instruments. We think she's pretty good at catching on to songs and staying in tune when she sings. She has a good ear and has started occassionally speaking in a British accent because of Parent Trap.

Dora the Explorer, Curious George..those are her favorite characters of the moment. But she's been really into SuperWhy this year...I think she got tired of all the repeating shows but she'll watch when it's a new one.

She likes villains...the black oil in FernGully, all the witches and giants...she thinks it's fun and she really enjoyed Halloween this year!

She's still into dance. She isn't taking a dance class this year because she's in preschool instead. But we checked out some dance DVDs from the library a few weeks ago and she enjoyed participating with the dancers on the screen.

Foods: spaghetti, pizza, bread and butter, grapes, apples, bananas, oranges, any kind of fruit, bunnies and goldfish, cheerios, yogurt.

She used to love vegetables and she'll eat them now most of the time but not with the same gusto. She still doesn't eat meat.

She's still good about trying everything we serve her and will swallow it even if she doesn't like it. But her menus are shrinking...we'll keep working on it though.

Her vocabularly is constantly exploding. She loves to add new words and she likes knowing multiple words for the same thing...like a little thesaurus. And she's starting to be curious about reading. We won't push her but we will encourage and point out words and letter sounds. Numbers are a whole other ballgame though...she can count but she's never gotten past 10. She knows bigger numbers but she doesn't care. And number recognition is not something she enjoys. She knows upper and lower case letters and loves doing word worksheets but when we give her one on numbers she finds shapes to color in or checks out the letters in the instructions. Not sure how to encourage numbers when it's not our favorite subject either. Books abound in our house and we read all the time.

She finally FINALLY FINALLY sleeps ALL NIGHT LONG. 11-12 hours most nights. This has just happened in the last few months. And there are still nights when she wakes up and wants one of us to come hug her or something. She still naps about every other day. And on the days she doesn't nap we make her rest in her bed with books for about an hour.

Zola loves preschool. She's in a Tuesday/Thursday morning program with other 2 year olds. It was a slow start because she was sick off and on for a while and we did some traveling but we're in the routine now. We think it's good for her to have that time on her own. And it's good for Niva to have some one-on-one attention.

She also really likes to dress-up. She loves her costume box and she changes her clothes at least once a day. And she has her own style. Sometimes I lay out outfits that match so she has a few to choose from and she'll pick one thing from one outfit and one thing from another. I've been taking lots of pictures to show her when she's older.

She loves her little sister but still has jealousy issues and fights for our attention. That's hard to see. She does try to take care of Niva a lot and gets frustrated when I insist she's beeing too rough. Niva is starting to communicate better though so that helps.

OH! Art! Zola draws dozens of pictures every week and loves to ask Grant to take them to work. She prefers plain white paper over coloring books.

I love you Zola!!!

Princess Book

One of our new favorite books around here:

The Apple-Pip Princess

by Jane Rey

Zola loves it because it's about princesses. I love it because this is one cool chick.

5 Little Pumpkins

sitting on a gate.
The first one said, "Oh my! It's getting late!"
The second one said, "There are witches in the air!"
The third one said, "But I don't care."
The fourth one said, "Let's run and run and run!"
The fifth one said, "I'm ready for some fun!"
oooo oooo went the wind.
Out went the lights.
And five little pumpkins rolled out of sight.

This is one of Zola's all-time favorite rhymes. So I decided to use it for some Halloweeny decorations this year.

First I taped down a large piece of brown butcher paper. The I included a color lesson by having her stir up some yellow and red paint to make the orange. We painted the whole paper orange.

We left it to dry and when she went to bed last night I cut out five pumpkin shapes. Then I used some black construction paper to cut out different shapes for eyes, noses and mouths. I used some green construction paper for the numbers and gray cardstock for the speech bubbles. And brown paper for the stems.

This morning I layed it all out for her and she had a lot of fun picking out the faces and gluing them down. Once they dried this is what we taped up on our stair rail:

Make-it-Easy Monday

Zola is taking her first antibiotic right now because of case of the polka-dotted throat, otherwise known as Strep. boo. Given her penchant for HATING to take medicine (I'm serious. When she needs a pain reliever she opts for a supposatory over liquid by mouth!)... I came up with a medicine chart.

I grabbed a piece of paper she'd been doodling on, flipped it to the blank side, and wrote 'Zola's Medicine Chart' with a blue marker. Then I cut slits along the bottom until I had 20 little tabs. I posted it on the refrigerator. Now she can pull one off each time she takes her medicine and she has a good visual for how much she has left before she's all the way better.

I'd post a pic but my camera is acting up. Just picture those notices people put on bulletin boards where you can tear off a phone number to call about a rental or something for sale.

Zola's First Day!

Today was Zola's first day of school! AH! My belly was feeling all topsy-turvy this morning..I thought it was pre-school jitters until I thought about that brownie I had for breakfast, that'll do it.

She was a bit nervous though...who the heck isn't on the first day of school? But she apparently had a blast and has said yes to everything I've asked- Did you play outside? Did you play with the kitchen stuff? Did you make friends? Did you go to the potty? Did you play with the train table? Did you have fun? Lots and lots of fun? Do you want to go back on Thursday?

And she was totally rocking the skirt I made especially for her first day. I was secretly panicing that she wouldn't have a great first day of school outfit (a must-have in my family growing up) but I had purchased this fun strawberry fabric on vacation and was able to whip this up while the girls took simultaneous naps yesterday!

Checking out the note I out in her pocket. It said, "Zola: I love you. XOXO, Mommy" She could read her name and smiled when I told her the rest.

NaBloPoMo.

What's one thing you think it's worth spending money on? What's one thing you always cheap out on?

This could also be a confession of ways I'm not environmentally friendly...eek. I am ok spending money on our power bill in order to keep the house cool. We set our thermostat much lower than the suggested 78-80 degrees in the summer. That is hot. I confess to being a creature that enjoys being comfortable. We set our A/C at 74. And our bill is expensive. But it's worth it.

I cheap out on clothes for my self. I don't buy myself clothes very often and when I do it's always clearance rack specials.

What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite movie?

Steel Magnolias. Hands down. Sometimes I think that maybe it will be something else...I try to force myself to pick another movie but it doesn't happen. This one makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me want to be a good person who loves others and takes care of those around me. Plus it kind of makes me want to be Sally Field.

Other movies I like...
Anna and the King- my favorite, 'i'm sick and just want to lie on the couch' film.
Matilda- my favorite to watch with Zola
FernGully- the first movie I remember seeing in the theatre
Terminator 2- Grant's favorite movie (i just like watching him talk about it)
The Princess Bride- my favorite quotable movie
Anything with 007. wowza.
Dirty Dancing- because it makes dancing look so fun


i'm sure there are others.

Hat Rack Project

I had been trying to come with an idea for this hat rack for a few years. Grant's mom gave it to me after I turned one into a jewelry organizer for my sister. I didn't need a jewelry organizer but it took me a while to come up with another idea...but I finally firgured it out... the blank wall above the changing table in our downstair's 'everything' room:

Add the hat rack:


Add some pretty silver buckets out the $1 shelves at Target and some ribbon from the $1 section at Michael's that I already had in my collection:

Fill with all the babies' lotions, stain stick, diaper covers, snappis, medicines, etc.:

Close-up:

I love this project. Cheap, easy and helps with organization.

Provocative

About 10 years ago I participated in a summer christian leadership training program called Josiah Project. It is run by Rock the World YMA . I lived with four other 20ish-somethings and we participated in team building activities, inner-city mission work experiences, youth ministry opportunities and cross-cultural mission projects in Belize. After spending 3 months living in close quarters we got to know each other really well.

At the end of the summer one of the directives was to access each other's good and not so good qualities. We lifted each person up with encouragements, thoughts on their future, prayers, and all of the amazing qualities we could see in him or her. Then we used our ears to hear and our eyes to see the rough places that could use improvement or that could possibly cause a challenge for his or her future.

All in all it was a great activity. I heard things that would not come up in normal life conversations.

I've gone back to the lists several times in the last 10 years when I've needed reminders about my strengths and also when I want to check on my progress at fixing those things they saw that might block me in my endeavors. Helpful and interesting. One of the obstacles someone said they saw for me was my tendency to act and speak provocatively. I was surprised that someone was actually calling me out. I knew I was flirty (the attention gave me a confidence boost) and I knew I liked to cause people to react at my words, but I didn't know that I was beyond the ordinary. Among other things I did that summer and on other occasions near this person- I walked through a church hallway from the bathroom to my sleeping room wearing nothing but a towel, wore skimpy bathing suits, stood on top of a suburban wearing a short dress, enjoyed surprising people with my vast sexual vocabulary (I could talk a good game), somehow caused a grocery bagger to leave his name/number in my bag of groceries, made out with someone (not that summer but on another Christian mission project)... I'm sure the list can go on. And that's just how I was being sexually provocative. I also encompassed this word on another level.

I love to question authority. I rarely take things at face value. I constantly seek for more and I enjoy pushing people beyond their limits (and often patience with me). I don't want to be the status quot. I want others to be provoked by what I say. I like starting and continuing conversations versus small talk (does anyone enjoy this?).

The other day I took both my girls to Target. When I shop with both I put Niva in a front carrier I've concocted out of a long piece of material so that I can chase Zola through the store as needed. I went in to Target to drop off a prescription. One guy came to the desk to help me and then called another guy over to help too. About 20 minutes later as I went to readjust Niva in the carrier I realized her foot had caught onto my tank-top strap and pulled my shirt down to my waist leaving my totally hot, beige-colored nursing bra out for the world to see. This is the extent of my flirtiness these days. Sweatpants, unwashed hair and an exposed nursing bra.

While my desire to be sexually provocative has waned over the years (having much to do with being married and loving every minute with my husband), my desire to provoke people in other ways is still burning bright. But somehow my spirit seems tame these days. It's been a while since I've offended someone (at least on purpose). I'm the authority now as a stay-at-home mom, so I guess I could question myself? I knew staying home would be hard but I am just now realizing the reason...it's not merely about other adult interactions because then grocery store encounters would suffice... I miss being frustrating. I miss inciting others to action. I really miss pissing people off- in a good way though, not in a way that flicking someone off in traffic could take care of. I miss the intellectualness of being a challenge.